Split for the holidays

Happy Holidays to everyone, today’s post is going to be about living in a divorced household during the holiday seasons.

I am a senior in college this year and one would think that growing up in a family of divorce would be normal and easy by now, especially since my parents have been divorced since my freshmen year of high school, but it isn’t easier, if anything its worse.

Holidays can be a hard time of the year for anyone who live in a divorced family, from parents to the children and everything else. As a child growing up with two different households you have to decide where you will be on what holiday or if you can make it to both places on every holiday. When my parents first divorced they lived a block or two away from each other so we could split holidays almost evenly and get to see both parents. This allowed us to cut one worry out because we didn’t have to worry about the other parent being alone or sad all day because we would get to see each of them. Most families don’t have this option so trying to figure out a schedule can be difficult.

Last year was the first year that  our parents didn’t live near each other because my mom had moved to Minnesota, but we still got to go down because it was 2 hours away and see our dad Christmas Day night. This year though I wont be seeing my dad at all for Christmas or New Years because he now lives in South Dakota and I have to go back down to school shortly after new years in order to work on my internship.

Holidays should be full of fun and laughter and they still are I suppose but as a child this causes a lot of stress. I feel bad that my father wont get to see me at all this holiday season and it is also hard because my parents do not get along at all so even talking to my mom about going and seeing him or feelings is out of the question.

If you are a divorced parent with children that are still young and unmarried please keep this in mind. That even though your child doesn’t show emotions or worry, kids worry about disappointing or hurting parents during the holiday season. There is a whole level of stress added to our lives because we want to make things fair and everyone happy. If they have a chance to see the other parent even though it may take a few hours or even a whole day away from their time with you remember that they need it and the other parent needs that time too. Families should come together year round, but holidays are that one time of year where this should really happen. Also just think about as a parent how you feel when you are not with your child and how that other parent may feel. Being divorced with children isn’t easy for either parent, especially if the children are young, but its not easy for the kids either at any age. We feel a sense of loyalty to both parents and its hard when we can’t split ourselves and be in both places at once.

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